Wedding Bells (AU, for gunslingerqueen) (NSFW)

[toweredingly]

Roland had woken with a headache and a sinking sense of cold dread, and neither were because of the large amounts of whiskey and graf he'd drunk the night before. It was a familiar feeling; the same steady almost-fear settled into his bones whenever he saw a battle looming. But battles could be fought with gunfire and cold rage, with all thought pushed aside and the world coming at you moment by moment. Today was worse. Today was politics.

He'd set aside his usual jerkin and jeans for more formal gear. The suit itself wasn't so bad, but he felt naked without his guns at his hip. It would have been good to have their comfort, even if he had no intent of using them. Their weight had always been like having a part of his father still with him, and all the gunslingers of their line before him. Now, when he most felt need of that reassurance, he had to set it aside. Clean-shaven and well-heeled, with his hair pulled back into a queue and his feet rubbed by the hard leather of new shoes, he felt like another man - and one even less capable of facing all that lay ahead.

The wedding was in the morning, before the real Fair-Day began. Then things would take their usual course; the castle flung open to the people, the feasting and singing and Fair-Day riddling, with raucous good humour and doubtless a few fights. That was manageable. He had lived that every Fair-Day for his whole life. What frightened him, more than he would ever admit, was the part that came before and after.

"You look more like a man going to put a noose around her neck than a ring around her finger," Bert commented in his ear, bringing him back to the present. For his part, Bert looked perfectly at ease in formal wear, sauntering about and regarding Roland with a critical eye. Whatever dark mood had been slithering about under the surface, he seemed to have excised it for now.

Roland answered with a grunt, looking back ruefully at the gunbelt hanging over the back of his chair, and closed his eyes for a moment. "Is there a difference?"

"Dinh or no dinh, I'm not beyond punching you. Just for once, Ro', try to stop living in whatever darkness is going on in that bony head of yours, and relax." For once, Bert wasn't smiling. He slung an arm around his friend's shoulders, looking at him closely. "She's not Susan. I kennit, Ro'. But she's what Susan would have wanted for you. Carry that with you, at least."

"Thankee, Bert." Patting Cuthbert on the back, Roland shook his head and started towards the door. Towards the Hall of the Ancestors, where Burtock Hattlen waited in lieu of a dinh, where Alain was standing by with a ring.

The hall was filled, to a casual eye, but Roland saw the empty spaces more than the full. No Cort, no Vannay, no Stephen Deschain in the high seat. Many who should have been seated in the best places were gone. Somehow, that made it easier to settle his mind, straighten his spine, and wait steady and watchful at the front of the hall for his bride.

Comments

[toweredingly]

Roland couldn't help smiling a little in return. It was hard to avoid, when her smile was so wide and so infectious. Beside him, Cuthbert hid a smile of his own, clearing his throat officiously.

If Burtock noticed the change, he made no sign. Instead, nodding, he regarded Ignis for a moment with eyes that were rheumy with age but still gimlet-sharp, then looked to Roland. "And who comes forth to claim her?"

Roland's voice was as clear as Ignis', and for all his doubts, sounded just as sure. The High Speech rolled off his tongue as easily as the Low, as he stepped forwards. "Roland Deschain, son of Stephen. In front of all here assembled, in the sight of my father and with his blessing, I do."

Burtock nodded again, looking between the two of them, and gestured for Nariko to take Roland's hand. "Do any here stand forth to deny them?"

At that, there was a low murmur from the back of the room. But although Roland tensed sharply, turning and fixing his eyes on the audience, nobody there stood up.

[gunslingerqueen]

See, everything was much more engaging when people could smile! The circumstances hadn't changed any but now she felt much lighter, not so unbearably terrified of it all. When she was expected to do so her hand raised and found its place with Roland's own as if they were entirely accustomed to this. In reality it felt strange, such a genuine and innocent act after that ... After yesterday. They really weren't the innocent types.

When that penultimate question arrived she did a better job at restraining herself, but subconsciously squeezed Roland's hand, as if that might actually comfort him. She could hear Kaine coughing loudly and very pointedly but there were no word from her best friend, and if that wasn't a miracle than nothing else in the known world was. No one else from her side would say a thing, they all believed that this was her choice, one that she was happy with, and so they had no reason. It suddenly dawned on her that Joshua would have been just the same despite everything that happened.

No worthwhile objections, then. She looked back to Burtock but didn't dare say anything, these types of ceremonies didn't involve much on her part, just a bit of talking and then her end of the kiss and for that she was mostly grateful, nastier implications aside.

hey look i wrote bullshit wedding vows go me

[toweredingly]

For his part, Roland looked down at their hands as Burtock began talking again. A slight frown creased his brow for a moment when she squeezed his hand, but only briefly.

"...Do you swear your life to hers, to protect her and to care for her, and to forsake all other loves, until you shall come to the clearing at the end of the path?"

Looking up from their joined hands as if coming out of a trance, Roland hesitated. It was only for a moment, but he hesitated nonetheless, and behind him, Cuthbert and Alain tensed at it. Forsake all other loves. Again, his mind turned to Susan, and how she had cried his name as she burned. They had been married, he thought bitterly, married in all but name, and she had not forsaken him. Was he to repay her this way?

Too late for that now. The voice sounded so like Cort's that he almost looked around, even knowing that Cort was buried deep in the courtyard out back.

He had been silent too long. There was a gentle susurrus among the gathered crowd, one that could too easily turn into a roar. Looking up at Nariko, he met her eyes and forced himself to forget that they might have been blue. "By my father's face and the guns he bore, I do so swear."

Visibly relieved, Burtock let out a long breath, which turned into a hacking, old man's cough. At last, getting his breath back, he turned to Nariko. "And you, Nariko Lunae. Do you swear to bind yourself to this man, to make his cause your own, to lift him up and to steady him? Do you swear your life to his, to cherish and to care for him, and to forsake all other loves, until you shall come to the clearing at the end of the path?"

[gunslingerqueen]

Goodness, they all just seemed to enjoy tensing up, didn't they? Someone was going to have to make a joke before a muscle was pulled. Which was to say that his hesitation didn't bother her. It would have been far more concerning if he didn't take that moment, Roland had always needed time to think about things and why would this be any different? Granted, it might have been good of him to think before this moment but he was hardly the type of man who made anything convenient for others. So she stood and held his hand, and she waited without any sense of urgency, and he came around eventually.

Now if only hearing it in reality, straight from his mouth in this exact moment didn't make her feel as though she was being pushed into some other dimension. This was so odd.

By the time Burtock returned to them and breathed normally her own slight hesitation had passed. Forsake all loves, hm? What was the chance of that? Roland had said it himself, that there was no such thing as living without ghosts but that was a harsh reality for him more than herself. "By the song of my ancestors, I do so swear." Hell, why not put the last bit in their? If nothing else it would make her grandmother the happiest woman in the world.

[toweredingly]

Burtock looked a little uncertainly to Roland, who gave him a minute nod of confirmation. Clearing his throat, the old gunslinger nodded back and gestured to Alain and Bert, who stepped forwards to flank Roland.

"Who comes forth to witness this union?"

"Cuthbert Allgood, son of Robert, whose forefather Sir Bertrand fought for the Eld." For once, Bert looked completely serious. "I do."

On Roland's left, Alain looked by far the most awkward of the three. His suit was a little too small for him, and formality ill-suited his round, placid face. His voice was just as steady and certain as Bert's, though. "Alain Johns, son of Christopher, whose forefather Sir Alfred fought for the Eld. I do, and bring with me this ring, to seal the compact." Glancing uncomfortably out at the crowd watching him, he cleared his throat and brought out the little box. The ring inside was plain silver, a simple band, almost like a man's. Roland took it with a little nod, ceremony settling over him like a shroud.

"Then, in the absence of..." Burtock had to break off to cough into his hand again. "In the absence of your dinh, it falls to me to witness. Ka has brought you together, in the light of the White, and may your path be shared long and far in the light of each others' love, and wind many years hence into the Clearing. May you be the water to each other's thirst, and the warmth to each other's nights. May you bring into this world children who grow strong and proud, trueborn scions of the Eld. And may you both remember your fathers' faces, so long as you live."

Roland listened until the end, to words he had heard many times before, and spoken himself on more than one occasion. When Burtock fell silent, he nodded just a little, lifting the ring up so it could be seen. "With this ring, I seal my promise to thee. With this kiss, I wed thee."

It wasn't anything like the kiss of the evening before. Less hard, less desperate. But there was still a passion in it, and although it was gentle, it was hardly chaste.

[gunslingerqueen]

She had never thought that it would bother her to go without her own traditions as fas marriage was concerned and yet here she was, and it bothered her a little. But even if that had been honored it would mean speaking more words that neither of them would mean so the desire was kind of childish.

Her self-pitying came to an immediate stop when she looked at Alain, the poor man looked ready to leave and be done with all of this. She almost wanted to ask if he could just go after doing his part but that would hardly be acceptable. No, instead she focused on the ring and was strangely relieved that it was simple and uncomplicated because it was going to sit heavy on her as it was, no use in making it overly pronounced on top of that.

It was a miracle that she didn't flinch at the bit about children, the one subject that would pull at her the way Roland's deceased lover did. At least, as far as she understood, there would be no confusion about children. That was the positive.

If anyone dared to ask her later (and Agni would, because he was a cow's ass) she would lie and say that it was just a kiss, that she didn't fall into it easily and feel her heart turn over for it. It was pure, unbelievable romanticism and it was dangerous and did not happen. Nope. Not at all. They kissed for the acceptable amount of time, and parted, and she remembered to smile.

Now if only that smile wasn't so damn genuine, she would have pulled it all off just fine.

[toweredingly]

Roland didn't smile, beyond a slight twitch of his lips, but that was just Roland. Nodding to her, he turned to the assembly, letting go of her hand. "Thankee, sai Hattlen. Were my father here, I doubt not he would be glad of your service, as I am." His voice was crisp and sharp, all business again. "We gather back here in an hour, and the true celebrations can begin. Until then, those who wish can await in the East'rd Hall. By your leave, sais, I'd have a little while alone with my new wife, before all else begins."

Taking Nariko's hand again, he started back down the aisle, unhurried and at ease in his own skin. The unsettled feeling hadn't left him, but he could hide it, pull on the guise of a grown man and a gunslinger as if nothing were wrong. He was a young man on his wedding day. That was enough.

[gunslingerqueen]

My new wife. Good gods above and below.

There was a lot of hand holding going on here but right now it was a benefit. There was a surreal quality to the entire hall, even to the sound of the excited clapping, and it wouldn't have surprised her if it came from either twin or maybe even Lena. As they passed a young boy, barely ten, hung over the back of his seat with no sense of formality, blond hair flopped into his blue-green eyes while he smiled widely at them and waved even more excitedly as if he could possibly be missed.

She waved back immediately before Lena, with her striking green eyes, pulled him back. No, nothing was wrong, everything that had to be was right, she just needed the reminder. It didn't occur to her to be worried about what they needed to be alone for, hell, he might just walk off in a different direction for all she knew. What counted was that they had done it.

[toweredingly]

Roland smiled a little at that, despite himself. The boy looked, to him, a great deal like Alain had done at that age, and for the first time he saw this wedding as other people might see it; as nothing more or less than any other wedding. Somehow, that took a great weight off his shoulders. In an unusual burst of good nature, he saluted the boy in return, tapping his throat as Lena pulled him back.

He led Nariko out of the hall, letting go of her hand to close the doors behind them, and turned to her. "Such a little thing, to change a life with," he mused aloud, looking at her thoughtfully for a moment before he headed to the stairs. "Are you alright?"

[gunslingerqueen]

She didn't need to see her brother's face in that second. She knew that the instant Roland acknowledged him her younger sibling was beyond himself with joy and starry eyed at that. Thankfully he likely had the sense to return the gesture respectfully, if Lena's insistent pulling didn't prevail, but all the same it helped keep her mood bright.

"I am not sure that I would call it little, but it it does certainly change things." Marriage was a hell of an event, after all, though their own was muted for reasons beyond control. She didn't immediately follow as he went towards the stairs but he had asked a question so she only hesitated for a second or two, gently holding a bit of the fabric up so that she didn't trip on the stairs. "I was going to ask you the same."

He deserved the question more than she did, but first to the table, first to his reward, as her father would have said. "I'm perfectly fine, experiencing a bit of denial," The ring shocked her out of it, but she wouldn't say that. "But I am not upset. I think I am even a bit relieved?"

[toweredingly]

He smiled, just slightly. "Good." He knew just how she felt. Did she feel that same lifting of dread, now it couldn't be taken back? Was it as much of a comfort to her that it was done, and in the past? He suspected it might be. What happened now, happened. They had both made their choice. "Me too."

He continued on up the stairs for a few moments before asking the next question, a less predictable one. "I plan to pick up my gunbelts. If it comes to it, can you slap leather from that dress?"

[gunslingerqueen]

So that was where he was going! Honestly, she should have guessed it. "Good, I'm surprised you didn't have them to begin with." And then, his question, "Of course I can, but this might be too much for a normal celebration to begin with so maybe I should change. It only meant something to me to be wearing this anyway." So she doubted that anyone would really hold it against her if she didn't wear the same thing all damn day. Especially since it wasn't very practical.

"Before we go back ..." For the first time she sounded hesitant, and if he bothered to look at her Roland would find that she was very interested in the stairs. "I have to give you something. Well, I guess I don't have to."

[toweredingly]

"Taking guns to a wedding is... bad manners to say the least." Roland pressed his lips together. "Which is why I couldn't help but notice the three men in back who either had theirs in docker's clutches under their jackets, or ought to see a better tailor." One had been a gunslinger. He hoped against hope that that man, at least, hadn't turned traitor - but the odds didn't seem particularly stacked in his favour.

It was because he was thinking of that, and trying to put names to the other two, that it took him a moment to register what she had said. "...Give me what?"

[gunslingerqueen]

"Hardly. It's impractical." There might be some emotional investment, the idea that neither of them should be concerned with those parts of themselves during a wedding, but that was impractical, too. "Point them out to Ignis or Agni, they'll tell everyone to keep watch, and hopefully watching is all that will be done." Roland couldn't be everywhere, and as he had said the previous day: starting off a marriage with open violence didn't do anything but invite more violence. Her kin wouldn't be paid much attention and they could wander much more easily than herself or Roland on this particular day.

"Something!" It might have been easy to mistake the sharpness of her tone as irritation but it was nothing but unadulterated embarrassment. "It isn't anything bad! Just smile and put it in your precious study because that's where it is meant to go, and then it'll be done with!" He didn't have to sound so suspicious! ... But then she did spring it on him a bit, didn't she? Oh well.

[toweredingly]

"Does me fine." Roland raised his hands, almost defensively, as she snapped. "Just curious, no more." He looked back at her, tucking his hands into his pockets, and raised one eyebrow. "As for those who'd bring lead and gunfire to my wedding day... I'll warn your kin, and I'd hope some of my own tet would see what's amiss, but in such times, it's hard to be too careful. Strap on your gun, and keep a keen eye on those who draw close." Something in his voice suggested he'd rather welcome it if an attack was made.

[gunslingerqueen]

She should have been more careful with her own tongue, and she regretted it, but a simple apology didn't feel like enough just yet. She would say it when she passed on his gift. As far the state of their guests, well, she had been so wrapped up in the main event that she hadn't noticed anything out of place, so she hoped for all the graf in the world that he was right. "I will. If it comes then it comes and we'll have a story to tell by the end of the day."

And that was all she could say about it, really. The idea of a battle might have excited her on any other day, when there was a long discussion waiting for her, when her brother was here and vulnerable, and when Kaine was already greatly irritated. There were far too many guns and blades in one damned castle.

"I'll meet you up there!" Better to go now and deal with the matter of clothing and his gift then delay it anymore. If she had to wait much longer she might just vomit a lung out and that would hardly be pleasant.

[toweredingly]

He nodded, but hesitated for a moment, as if there was something more he wanted to say. Whatever it was, it didn't come. He thought, briefly, about kissing her, and didn't do that either. Instead, he just nodded again, a little slower. "I'll be in my room," he said, rather stiltedly, and turned back up the stairs. He didn't hurry, but his legs were long, and he took the stairs two at a time, as he was acquainted with doing.

In his room, he stood alone for a moment, motionless. Now that the immediacy of it had faded, the weight of it seemed to be gathering again. He didn't turn immediately to the gunbelts, but went over to a chest of drawers, digging through it for several moments before he found what he was looking for.

He hadn't taken anything of Susan's with him when they had fled Hambry. No keepsakes, no mementos. But he had carried her body a long way, and when he had come back, he had found three long hairs still clinging to his jerkin. One was charred most of the way up its length; the other two had probably been from before the Reap, for they were not even singed. All three were twisted into a lock, hidden away at the bottom of the chest. He took them out now, touching them to his lips. "Bird and bear and hare and fish," he whispered, closing his eyes. He had meant to throw them away, toss them in the fire and mark the final end of that love. Instead, he found himself tucking them reverently back into their little bag, and closing the drawer on them.

When Nariko came to find him, the only evidence of that she would find was the fact that he was only just buckling on his guns, having taken several minutes over what, even now, he couldn't help feeling was empty pantomime.

omfg Roland :l

[gunslingerqueen]

That was an unfortunate shift in the mood and she couldn't understand the cause but Nariko didn't allow it to bother her, either. She was far too preoccupied with the matter at hand, and that involved taking herself down a different path and beyond her own door. In the quiet she allowed herself to breathe for a moment, closed her eyes and attempted to make proper sense of her own feelings but everything was a jumbled mess. The feeling of it might not properly ebb until sometime tomorrow.

She changed from the heavy lace and satin of her wedding dress to an equally flattering but lighter and equally flattering dress, as appropriate for both occasions as anything could be. Most importantly the leather at just right on her, half-hidden by the folds of the lower portion. At first she was content with her father's gun but it was as she went to retrieve Roland's gift that Joshua's gun caught her eye. It was well polished and cleaned, he hadn't been apart from it for very long, but it wouldn't see any use up here and locked away. She grabbed it with a sigh, and then tucked it into the space that usually held her knife. For the first time in her life there were two, and it felt wrong, but what in this world ever felt entirely right?

There was no wrapping the thing, mostly because it would have appeared a pile of mess if she had tried, better to just fold it neatly and carry it along. Married or not she wasn't going to just walk into his room that was ... It was an invasion of privacy. They could handle each other now, it seemed, but they weren't that close so whether he found it odd or not she knocked with one hand while the other knocked on his door. It was a bit odd that he wasn't already out here but she put that out of her mind, she couldn't handle gift giving and logic at the same time, so the logic would come at a later time.

again with the drama queen...

[toweredingly]

Roland finished fastening his gunbelts before going to open the door. The way they sat low-slung and slack on his hips contrasted sharply with his tailored suit, the style in which he wore his guns being better-suited to worn jeans and hard travel than to silk shirts and sharp-pleated pants. But somehow, it almost worked. They were so much a part of him that, even incongruous as they were, they could only make him look more like himself.

He noted the second gun at her hip, but swallowed the question half-formed. It wasn't hard to guess, with all he had learnt yesterday, whose gun that might be. He wasn't going to salt her wounds by asking. Instead, he just stepped aside to let her in. Unlike his study, which was piled with maps and wax tablets and filled with the various paraphernalia of his duties, his bedroom was neat, almost spartan. Indeed, it looked more like a guest room than most of the rooms he had put her family into. Roland sat down on the bed, taking the opportunity to pick up the hunting horn which had been on top of a cupboard and to fasten it to his belt.

"You look beautiful," he said. It was for something to say more than anything else, but that didn't make it untrue.

That's a whole new level and I really want her to find out about it

[gunslingerqueen]

Something about stepping into this space felt uncomfortable and if she took more than a second or two with the sensation then Nariko would realize why. It reminded her of what would happen hours from now, their wedding night and the decision she had pushed off for as long as possible. Go through with it even though they were both obviously uncomfortable, or be the one to say that they shouldn't at all? For the moment she was going to push it off yet again, if only because of what he said.

"Thank you." But she sounded as surprised by his compliment as she felt. She forced herself to believe that he was only being polite and got to what mattered. "... On my father's side it's considered more heartfelt to make something for one another," She tilted her head side to side here, "Granted, our marriage was never approved by my grandmother so don't worry, I never expected you to do anything, and it's for the best. Caligian weddings take an entire week to be finished and involve drug-fueled sex and tattooing so this was much simpler." ... Anyway. "You have to understand that I'm not very good at this and I only had a week, but I hope it will at least be useful."

And 'it' was, of all things, a woven blanket, granted a very thick and comforting one with a dark blue background, an attempt to resemble the night sky. The predominant design on it was the silhouette of Gilead itself done in a soft beige (or at least as she remembered seeing it when she was still riding here, and her memory was quite sharp), Old Mother and Apon above it in lighter, silver thread. "… The other side has all of your names. Bert, Jamie, Alain, Thomas, I would have written them differently but it doesn't work if I don't write it in our tongue, so I'm afraid it probably just looks like a mess of scribbles to you, but I promise that's what it is." She turned it to show him the soft white back made of the same heat retaining material, and there were six lines of some language, the full names of his ka-tet, and one more that was not her own name. "If you keep those that follow you in this world with you in your sleeping state they protect you from what can't be seen. That's the idea."

She folded it back up and held it out to him, afflicted with that same embarrassment. She had tried to work on it as thoroughly as her own dress but she still found imperfections with it. On top of that her gifts were never well known for being liked. "I know that is superstitious, but it's the thought that counts and I don't think the blankets in your study are warm enough and you don't need to get sick! So at least it is practical." If he could just smile and take it then they could go back to the Fair Day celebrations.

yes please. :D

[toweredingly]

"Superstition or not," Roland said gravely, taking the blanket, "I can use all the protection I can get. Thankee." He hesitated for a moment, running his thumb over the dense fabric, and then smiled. It was a small smile, a sad smile, and one of the most genuine he had given her. "And to say true, it's a blessing you didn't expect me to make you anything in return. Give me a gun, and my hands are the cleverest you'll find. Give me a needle, and I can just about sew a button back on." Shaking his head, he put the blanket down at the foot of the bed, getting to his feet. He loosened his cravat a little, cracking his neck from side to side, and offered her his arm.

Truth be told, he reflected, he would rather leave those who followed him in this world out of his sleeping state. They weighed too heavy on him as it was, sometimes. But then, there was much that couldn't be seen that he had cause to fear, so maybe it was a good thing to have a shield. It could certainly do no harm.

"As for not being good at it," he added aloud, "you did a damn sight better in a week than I could in a year. I count that plenty good enough. Shall we?"

Then it will be!

[gunslingerqueen]

She could have pointed out that it didn't have to be a sewn thing, it could have been anything in the world as long as it was made with hands, with some kind of good feeling for their future together. But there was every reason in the sky to avoid saying that so she only listened, a placid smile on her lips that, as was exhibited by her husband, did not come anywhere near her eyes and for her it was a very strange expression to wear.

It was corrected by the time he gave her his arm and that ... Was that really such a good idea, considering? It hadn't worked out too well the last time, but just like then it would be rude to turn him down. So she followed through even though it was a terrible idea, even though it made her feel unnecessarily cautious.

"You're right, personally I'm just glad it isn't loathed on sight." She was either getting better, or he was working extra hard to be abiding. "Lets. It would be rude to keep them waiting."

:)

[toweredingly]

The insincerity of her smile might be corrected, but that didn't mean Roland hadn't noticed it. He felt an odd kind of irritation at it, even knowing how often his own smiles were just as empty. By his standards, he was being both gentle and verbose, but it wasn't even the failure of that which put his hackles up. Most likely, it wasn't anything that specific at the root of his irritation, just general frustration at the whole situation. He had come to care for her. Given time, he might yet come to love her, although a part of him still hoped otherwise. But they hadn't been given time, and it was entirely his own fault.

What's done is done, he reminded himself, and cast a glance back at the blanket as he closed the door behind them. It was a beautiful thing, and he understood the tradition in a way he could never have spoken. Because she had made it. She had put that time and that heart into it. That meant one hell of a lot more than the words she'd said. Maybe she hadn't chosen this, but at the very least she'd accepted it, and he should damn well do the same.

Telling himself that wasn't the same as doing it, of course. Otherwise, he would have been at peace with this decision since the moment he'd made it. But it helped, a little, to remind himself of that. It helped more to know, in the gut-deep way of the truly faithful, that it was part of ka's path, for good or ill. What would be, would be. No matter if it made him feel a traitor.

"Drug-fuelled sex and tattooing," he said into the silence, when they were halfway down the stairwell, "might be what some enjoy, but I hope you won't mind me saying that I'm glad it was my tradition we followed."

[gunslingerqueen]

For someone who apparently thought there had been some 'failure' on his end she was certainly happy! He didn't just toss her gift out the window and they had managed to go quite a long while without any meaningful, awkward stretches of time! She had no way of figuring out if he was pushing himself to be more amiable but it was nice, even better that he was swallowing whatever issues he had against touching her. Nariko could convince herself left was right if she was fervent enough but Roland was a matter of up or down. Flinching at her one day and then initiating an alcohol fueled kiss a week later. Today must have been an 'up' day. That was how she could think of it.

To the grand surprise of anyone who spent more than five minutes allowing her to speak freely, Nariko wasn't against a good dose of quiet. It did not make her feel uneasy or displaced, in fact she could fall back into her own thoughts just as simply as she breathed. But of all things he would pick up on and feel a way about, it was that and now her smile was back to its full brightness.

"I don't. There are a lot of traditions and ideas that simply don't make any sense, or they are rooted in outright cruelty, it needs to change." But how that would happen, who would push for it remained a slight mystery for her. "But just as many things are valuable. Treating everyone equally and against the same set of values, teaching everyone to be strong in some way … That is what I love about our traditions. That said it's always a good idea to skip an all-day feast."

[toweredingly]

Roland nodded, looking thoughtful. "Your kin seem the stronger for it, and that is the truth. Here, we are taught to bear the burden of it, to be the strength of our people that they may have peace." He glanced down at his guns, his free hand going almost unconsciously to touch one sandalwood grip. "But of late it seems there is no peace for anyone, and a man could come to wish for a tradition more like yours."

They were far enough down the stairs now that the sounds of conversation wove into the air around them. Roland smiled a little, a twitch of his lips and a glitter of his eyes. "I hope you're ready for this all-day feast."