He nodded, but hesitated for a moment, as if there was something more he wanted to say. Whatever it was, it didn't come. He thought, briefly, about kissing her, and didn't do that either. Instead, he just nodded again, a little slower. "I'll be in my room," he said, rather stiltedly, and turned back up the stairs. He didn't hurry, but his legs were long, and he took the stairs two at a time, as he was acquainted with doing.
In his room, he stood alone for a moment, motionless. Now that the immediacy of it had faded, the weight of it seemed to be gathering again. He didn't turn immediately to the gunbelts, but went over to a chest of drawers, digging through it for several moments before he found what he was looking for.
He hadn't taken anything of Susan's with him when they had fled Hambry. No keepsakes, no mementos. But he had carried her body a long way, and when he had come back, he had found three long hairs still clinging to his jerkin. One was charred most of the way up its length; the other two had probably been from before the Reap, for they were not even singed. All three were twisted into a lock, hidden away at the bottom of the chest. He took them out now, touching them to his lips. "Bird and bear and hare and fish," he whispered, closing his eyes. He had meant to throw them away, toss them in the fire and mark the final end of that love. Instead, he found himself tucking them reverently back into their little bag, and closing the drawer on them.
When Nariko came to find him, the only evidence of that she would find was the fact that he was only just buckling on his guns, having taken several minutes over what, even now, he couldn't help feeling was empty pantomime.
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In his room, he stood alone for a moment, motionless. Now that the immediacy of it had faded, the weight of it seemed to be gathering again. He didn't turn immediately to the gunbelts, but went over to a chest of drawers, digging through it for several moments before he found what he was looking for.
He hadn't taken anything of Susan's with him when they had fled Hambry. No keepsakes, no mementos. But he had carried her body a long way, and when he had come back, he had found three long hairs still clinging to his jerkin. One was charred most of the way up its length; the other two had probably been from before the Reap, for they were not even singed. All three were twisted into a lock, hidden away at the bottom of the chest. He took them out now, touching them to his lips. "Bird and bear and hare and fish," he whispered, closing his eyes. He had meant to throw them away, toss them in the fire and mark the final end of that love. Instead, he found himself tucking them reverently back into their little bag, and closing the drawer on them.
When Nariko came to find him, the only evidence of that she would find was the fact that he was only just buckling on his guns, having taken several minutes over what, even now, he couldn't help feeling was empty pantomime.