She laughed softly and wanted to kiss him more than she wanted anything else in that moment. "I think it would do that and surely implode, first. Even when I thought you were an unbearable ass, you were appealing. I just figured we would have amazing hate sex."
The path of his hand made her grin and she hoped he could feel it clearly, but his question made her huff. "'Problem' isn't the right words it's just ..." She leaned back and then forward again, trying to think through it. "... How do I explain this without going on for an hour..." Well, shit. Of all the questions that would give her real trouble!
"One of the reasons I like and greatly prefer you to someone like Cuthbert is because you don't really hide anything. I won't lie and say that it isn't difficult to hear certain things delivered bluntly or seemingly without any regard for how I might feel, but I can handle that. What scares me is talking to someone who says one thing but really feels the opposite. Even when he's kind I get the very distinct feeling that it is ... Not faked, but it's at arms length and then that makes the sensation even worse to me." It was her turn to be careful about her choice of wording, she needed to get this at least mostly right the first time around. "He's been incredibly sweet to me and I am grateful for that, I don't believe he would ever purposely harm me unless I gave him a reason. And I imagine that someone who hides some of those feelings is also the type of man to feel things so incredibly and fiercely that maybe it's just too much, and it's easier to smile and joke, to only mention it in short bursts."
She sighed, perhaps a little dramatically. "And of course if I'm right about that then it means he and I share the trait, and that just magnifies my fears. Am I saying the right thing? Does he know that I would never let anything happen to you? Does he know I won't be disloyal? How do I find my footing with someone who can hide their feelings that skillfully? That's all it is."
no subject
The path of his hand made her grin and she hoped he could feel it clearly, but his question made her huff. "'Problem' isn't the right words it's just ..." She leaned back and then forward again, trying to think through it. "... How do I explain this without going on for an hour..." Well, shit. Of all the questions that would give her real trouble!
"One of the reasons I like and greatly prefer you to someone like Cuthbert is because you don't really hide anything. I won't lie and say that it isn't difficult to hear certain things delivered bluntly or seemingly without any regard for how I might feel, but I can handle that. What scares me is talking to someone who says one thing but really feels the opposite. Even when he's kind I get the very distinct feeling that it is ... Not faked, but it's at arms length and then that makes the sensation even worse to me." It was her turn to be careful about her choice of wording, she needed to get this at least mostly right the first time around. "He's been incredibly sweet to me and I am grateful for that, I don't believe he would ever purposely harm me unless I gave him a reason. And I imagine that someone who hides some of those feelings is also the type of man to feel things so incredibly and fiercely that maybe it's just too much, and it's easier to smile and joke, to only mention it in short bursts."
She sighed, perhaps a little dramatically. "And of course if I'm right about that then it means he and I share the trait, and that just magnifies my fears. Am I saying the right thing? Does he know that I would never let anything happen to you? Does he know I won't be disloyal? How do I find my footing with someone who can hide their feelings that skillfully? That's all it is."