He didn't need to, in her own way she knew it, that unless he asked the questions he intended to avoid out of what was probably the form of kindness he knew to give her, he would never understand what it meant for someone to call her strong. Hell, to even be wanted in general, let alone physically. The moment between her reaction and his question was enough to settle her but just as before it felt as if another layer of grief had been pulled off of her. It wasn't all gone but it was better than before and she hardly asked for more than that.
"I feel bad, this is an entirely boring answer!" But one he was owed all the same and one she would speak honestly just as he'd done for her. "I wasn't really expecting you to be anything, rather I tried to run through any combination of traits that would make the most sense based on the position you were in. If there had been more time between coming back and finding out that I was going to be married at all, I might have had time for an expectation of some sort. As it was I came home, she told me, I threatened to kill her and she dangled my brother in my face. I didn't have a choice at that point so it was done and I was coming here."
For her it had all happened in an extremely short amount of time, no chance to stop and think or gain her bearings before she was in a foreign place. "Before I actually saw you I figured you might end up being too busy working and might either ignore me completely or just occasionally visit me for sex and nothing more. Being expected to keep you company in some play at emotional intimacy was a possibility, too, but I found that much more unbearable compared to being ignored. I will say that I expected you to be older than me, about Joshua's age in truth, and I didn't expect you to be good looking, either. Granted, I had to stop freaking out before I could notice that last part. I had just gotten here and, to my ears, you were already trying to back out. I didn't care about the why of it, you were someone I didn't know but you stood in the way of protecting my brother and I couldn't let that happen."
Now was a very good time to kiss his neck, near where she had left a very prominent mark. "I am sorry about all of that. I was scared but I don't think that's exactly an excuse, not all the way."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2015-02-06 04:53 am (UTC)"I feel bad, this is an entirely boring answer!" But one he was owed all the same and one she would speak honestly just as he'd done for her. "I wasn't really expecting you to be anything, rather I tried to run through any combination of traits that would make the most sense based on the position you were in. If there had been more time between coming back and finding out that I was going to be married at all, I might have had time for an expectation of some sort. As it was I came home, she told me, I threatened to kill her and she dangled my brother in my face. I didn't have a choice at that point so it was done and I was coming here."
For her it had all happened in an extremely short amount of time, no chance to stop and think or gain her bearings before she was in a foreign place. "Before I actually saw you I figured you might end up being too busy working and might either ignore me completely or just occasionally visit me for sex and nothing more. Being expected to keep you company in some play at emotional intimacy was a possibility, too, but I found that much more unbearable compared to being ignored. I will say that I expected you to be older than me, about Joshua's age in truth, and I didn't expect you to be good looking, either. Granted, I had to stop freaking out before I could notice that last part. I had just gotten here and, to my ears, you were already trying to back out. I didn't care about the why of it, you were someone I didn't know but you stood in the way of protecting my brother and I couldn't let that happen."
Now was a very good time to kiss his neck, near where she had left a very prominent mark. "I am sorry about all of that. I was scared but I don't think that's exactly an excuse, not all the way."