Roland was silent for another long stretch, his face unreadable. At last, he looked up at her again. "If I had met you first," he began, with the measured care of someone who is struggling with a concept, and then lapsed back into silence. He'd never been good with words. But they seemed to be what was needed right now. Sighing, he crossed back over to her in a couple of long strides, and hunkered down in front of her, to meet her eyes. "If my heart weren't weighed down with her, Nariko, I think I would have loved you. Loved you as I did her."
There. It was out. And, to his surprise, now that it was out, it no longer hurt to think of. Oh, it was hardly pleasant - whatever he felt for her, it was soured by circumstance, bitter with ghosts and sharp with unhealed scars - but it was no longer the abscess in his mind it had felt of late. He found himself wondering why, exactly, it had seemed to hard to contemplate.
Reaching out, he touched her face again, but this time not to brush her hair back, only to hold her gaze on him. "I am not going to be a good husband. You have to know that by now. And I think a great deal of my heart burnt away with her. But what I can give you, I will."
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timeasmymeasure
here goes the drama queen again...
Date: 2015-02-04 05:08 am (UTC)There. It was out. And, to his surprise, now that it was out, it no longer hurt to think of. Oh, it was hardly pleasant - whatever he felt for her, it was soured by circumstance, bitter with ghosts and sharp with unhealed scars - but it was no longer the abscess in his mind it had felt of late. He found himself wondering why, exactly, it had seemed to hard to contemplate.
Reaching out, he touched her face again, but this time not to brush her hair back, only to hold her gaze on him. "I am not going to be a good husband. You have to know that by now. And I think a great deal of my heart burnt away with her. But what I can give you, I will."